The Distraction Technique - Does it Work on Oneself?

So have been having a big ol' existential crisis today....pooh pooh to that I hear you say and seeing as I still haven't gotten to the bottom of it AND have also just finished 'The Clergyman's Daughter' by Orson Welles which was NO BLOODY HELP at all, I'm going to do a completely frivolous blog about...oh, I don't know....fucking SHOES! That will do.....whatever niceties I can dream up for the next half an hour til I'm sufficiently calm to attempt the goddamned dishes (seriously....what is the point of doing dishes? of any of it?). Clearly someone has missed a couple of anti-anxiety tabs this week and is back to square one....but then it's like well, so take the tabs and live on in blissful ignorance of the futility of it all....where the frock am I headed anyways? Okay.....breathe....shoes.

http://www.converse.com.au/products/122687-navy.html

distressed Converse sneakers.....surely a must? (mild panic attack right now...wtf, it's not like I'm actually BUYING THEM!)

http://www.ecrater.com.au/p/12577608/lace-up-fashion-high-heel-pump

Winner of least practical but most pretty...yes, most pretty...not prettiest. Meh...I could care less....they would probably only last one drunken binge anyways....falling apart after one outing would just add to your self loathing - 'AND I ruined a new pair of shoes!' Cute though aren't they....it'd almost be worth it!

http://au.ioffer.com/i/black-mary-jane-wedge-trendy-shoes-191837874

If these aren't the sexiest grown up Mary-Janes you've ever seen well I just don't know what to do with you....oh, and speaking of wedges

http://www.knoxshoppingcentre.com.au/winter-fashion/results.aspx?c=4&s=0&page=2

These are the thing this spring/summer apparently...I have a pair, but unfortunately they are just a leeedle too dressy to be worn with any old summer dress....guess I'll have to buy some more...perhaps these :

 http://www.christianlouboutinpumps2012.com/christian-louboutin-coffee-espadrille-wedges-p-212.html?zenid=e98c3ad8c7f4e95ee4577d5d82fdcd82

???

http://www.surfstitch.com/product/gallaz-tropicana-sandal-grey-flowers?cm_mmc=GoogleProductSearch-_-Womens-_-Footwear-_-Gallaz_Tropicana_Sandal&CAWELAID=1082983187

Hmm, these are actually cheap enough that I might be able to pull it off ladies....wish me luck cos' for El Cheapo summer sandals, these are actually kinda cute....now...what to wear with them? Darn it, nothing matches.....well, we know what happens now...well, what SHOULD happen now at least ; )

http://www.nextdirect.com/au/en/shopping/women/shoes/7/6?utm_source=google&utm_medium=product_search&utm_campaign=googleps_au

So, they LOOK a little winter-y but I'm going with a short flirty dress and a good tan you can totally call these summer shoes just cos' they're so colourful. I said so...doesn't mean I'm the one to pull it off!

Alright people, I've done my best....feeling slightly more okay-ish about the drudgery of it all....provided I get stuff done now so I can give myself that little pat on the back that comes from having done all the jobs ahead of a day off......that should get me going again....seriously....GIVE ME THE IGNORANT BLISS!

Mwah.

Anji

Gourmet Italian, the Neurotic Hummingbird Way

I am a little bit of a foodie....curtailed drastically by time and financial restraints but I try my best. I want to share this little pleasure with you all as a 'home remedy to craving Italian food'. There, it still fits the criteria of the blog...hehe.

First, you gather all your ingredients....in my case...as many as possible from the 'home brand' ranges! The only thing not in the picture is the olives...cos' I took the photo after I'd already tipped them in (eat one row of white cooking chocolate) and moved the container.....oh well, we can't all be organised!

salami, parmesan, fresh tomatoes, tinned tomatoes, tomato paste, minced garlic semidried tomatoes, spaghetti, onion,  olive oil and green olives (both not pictured)



This next step may occur at any point during the process, depending on your patience, their whinginess and the timeframe required to get dinner on the table before bed time! Distraction time with Daddy:

                                              ♪♫ ♪♫♪♫ ♪♫♪♫ ♪♫♪♫ ♪♫♪♫ ♪♫    (love)

Step 3-ish:

Slice and dice (eat 3 more pieces of chocolate) the following: salami, olives, fresh and semidried tomatoes, onions, (you could totally put mushrooms in too if you wanted to). Heat olive oil and toss it all and minced garlic into a very expensive, awesome, non stick frypan (or a $13 dollar job from the supermarket in my case!)

Sizzle.... for about five minutes...until the fresh tomato is starting to look a bit sad and sorry

and then (step 4) tip in tinned tomatoes, tomato paste and about 2 handfuls of torn fresh basil leaves (I used 2 tins of tomatoes and about 2 tablespoons of tomato paste)

Step 5 should also be happening in amongst all the other stuff...so I guess we'll rename to Step When it Should be Done. Put the pasta in boiling water....tip - so as not to overcook pasta, only cook it in pot until it's ALMOST done, cos' once you're at that point, you drain and continue cooking it a little more in the pot with the sauce mix anyways.



Serve, topped with some shaved (or grated in our case cos' it's quicker!) parmesan onto your finest china - two Dora plastic bowls for messy children, 1 Elmo melamine plate chosen for portion controlling for Mum and whatever random china plate you can find in the odds and ends in the plate cupboard for Dad.

                            I served it on a boring, old table...with this on it, just to be contrary.

Last but not certainly not least, do it on a night that it is your partner/husband's turn to wash dishes.

La famiglia! La pasta! La-verly....it doesn't have to be posh and precise to be perfect. Life is messy, and sometimes a little disorder goes a long way to easing the pressure!

Nighty night....from the less neurotic than usual Hummingbird

Because I'm SO Much Better at Criticism than Creation......the NOT Wedding

I've always had this great knack for picking other people's ideas to pieces, it's not constructive criticism, it's downright bitchiness and we all know it.  I'm not much on the actual 'having my own ideas' front so I'm currently trying to decide on a career which will cater to my talents....I don't think it will go down well as a hooker - 'Well, I could tell you how to do that better love....' or any kind of designer expected to deal with the public - ' You really want a SEA theme for your bathroom, how fucking o-RIG-inal of you....' so any ideas would be appreciated. In the meantime, I will pick on people's wedding decisions as that's the main item on MY agenda at the moment.

As any classy bride knows, the starting point is always 'the dress'



A little more hair and a little less gut would've been much more digestible...this is an aberration on so many levels, but I'm sure she felt very much the princess

I'll bet Bobby just luuurves this one....and the wedding car was no doubt an old school (I'd say Torana in Australia....) muscle car with at least one panel a fetching shade of primer grey....







I've never felt so justified using the term 'frou frou'

Suit, I'm sorry...but you are NOT Keanu Reeves and can therefore NOT pull off the 'Matrix' suit, it was NEVER cool...when will you people learn? You would've been much better off with a full tuxedo and tails.

 http://www.ruethedayblog.com/2009/06/terribly-trashy-tuxes/  offers up a full selection of horrors in the tux department...this is actually the LEAST of them -

The shoes....I didn't want to bore you with heaps....so I just picked out my personal favourites...behold:

I'm speechless....really

The super smooth updo, I'm almost certain I'm alone in hating this, but way to look like a freaking mannequin.....hours of effort to have Ray Martin lacquer sheen hair.....yuk! (local joke for Aussies there, sorry)    The source of the nastiness

The makeup....you know how difficult it was to pare this one down??

Convenient list with a picture of the crimes against pores

This, again, was the tip of the iceberg...but I know we all have limited patience..so 'The Cowboy Cake'

I'm sure some would disagree, but surely even BARBIE would puke about this much pink and glitter....heave!

Really, LOVE HEART CUT OUTS??

All done with my little rant now. I only feel the need to do this when I've reached a stand still with my own preparations....right now I'm trying to finalise table decorations....god only knows what rubbish we'll end up with, it will probably make someone else's wedding 'don't's' list...hehe. Night...I'm going to moisturise. 

Oh, before I go, little update - lavender, bicarb, rosemary carpet thing was kinda a waste of time...still smelt much the same afterwards...unless you got down at floor level and sniffed it...seems a lot of effort to prove it worked ; )  Bye for now....

                                                          Anji

Kitchen. My least and most favourite room.

So today I will do a little kitcheny kinda blog. I will reveal a couple of cool home remedies for cleaning in the kitchen and also (as usual) tack on a few more 'I wants'. I actually LOVE cooking, but the problem is that I'm not a particularly efficient cook when under pressure or trying a new recipe. Therefore, despite reasonable talent and good ideas....my poor family experience bipolar style swings in their meal quality. For instance, my menu this week (yes, I planned a whole week, I know, right?) includes Moroccan lamb shanks, chicken and prawn rice paper rolls with fantastic herby Asian rice salad etc, BUT for the last two nights (oh yeah, two nights...no wastage at my house!) they have been subjected to the most basic of bolognese dinners. I can't even say spaghetti bolognese, because it happened to be broken up lasagne sheet bolognese, due to a pasta shortage in my pantry. I even sent my long-suffering fiance and my son to school with bolognese SANDWICHES!! HAHAHA. The problem (for them) is that despite loving better food, my palate is actually well used to eating bland and boring and repetitive...so they just have to deal with it....the kids are usually okay, I'm raising them to be like me...hehe, and my lovely boy just has to cope because the alternative is him cooking which is NEVER going to happen on a regular basis! It's a little disturbing how much I enjoy having this wee bit of power to inflict myself on them all...hehe. Okay, home remedies.

1. If your microwave is crusty and feral with baked/dried on food, apparently a large bowl half-filled with water, and the juice from a lemon should soften it all up if microwave on high for a minimum of five minutes. I think vinegar would probably subsitute well enough...it's still an acid...but the lemon probably smells a lot better! You should be able to just wipe the interior afterwards rather than scrubbing for ages and risking the finish being damaged.

2. Calcium-infested kettle element? Boil a mix of vinegar and water with 1 part vinegar to 3 parts water, about half a kettle full. Once boiled, place in an empty sink and add around 1/4 cup of bicarbonate soda. You'll know why it has to be in the sink once you do it...but it does work quite well.

3. Sometimes you walk into the kitchen hours after dinner and you can still smell the food. This annoys the crap out of me, so if you're the same, try this. Place 2-3cups of water in a saucepan. Add any of the following: vanilla essence, cloves, citrus peels (good if you used the juice for something else and have empty skins), cinnamon scrolls (a little expensive, but would probably smell delicious!) or even a teaspoon of eucalyptus oil. Simmer on very low for a while and you'll find your kitchen smelling much better.

4. Particular cupboards that seem to always smell: place a dish or two of bicarbonate soda uncovered in the back of the cupboard, it absorbs most smells.

5. Wipe down anything shiny (such as stainless finished anything, ceramic cooktops, high gloss benchtops, glass or even the plastic doors of microwaves etc) with white vinegar to get a lovely sheen happening. Don't use too much obviously or you'll have to trot out remedy number 3 just to get rid of the smell.


Wow, FIVE in one go! Amazing! I didn't even have to look them up! Woohoo me. Okay, now for a lovely recipe...I will pick another tried and tested favourite for you...hold tight.

Sweet Soy and Ginger Fish

                              served with....                                                                                               

                                                     Sesame Longevity Noodles

All of my family liked this one, me especially (how surprising) and the cool thing is that the noodles have so many potential subsitutions where you may not have one or two ingredients...even the noodles can be substituted with different types of noodles depending what you have on hand. I love flexible recipes!

Okay, just a teeny weeny wish list today (I have to break them down or I'd write a novel about all the shit I want but don't actually need).

totally unnecessary but soooo cool teapot - it's RED!


Depression Era Glass
I don't even know if I CAN buy this jar, but I love it so much I had to put it here even if it's just as part of a vintage wank! Oh dear...I said something rude...oh well.
                                                                                                                                                  


I'm SOOO going to flog this idea....all I need is a massive collections of hexagonal jars, glue,magnets....oh, and a less fidgety daughter......maybe I'll just put them up REALLY HIGH.

 Oh my, these really are just sooooo beautiful. I love teacups (I'll be blaming my dear mother for that) and even though I never actually drink out of them, I think I'd make a point of it if I had these lovelies! I found this picture at http://dartyandpike.blogspot.com but I think you can buy them from Shopadilly UK. This is a site similar to ebay I think, so I'm assuming they aren't in production anymore. Reasonably affordable though, yay! Anyone needing ideas for wedding gifts?? Anyone?

This will be for when I'm 'ye olde Anji' with time to kill.....i.e. not going to be forgetting about the cute copper kettle boiling itself dry while I'm hanging out clothes or something else equally as mundane....

Alrighty then, that will do for now...I do have to make lunches after all....boo. Besides, I could go on all night (already have in fact!) Right-o then. Done.

Anji

PrettySmellyThings

So, Easter is over....I've gained 2.5kg ("Oh no", I hear you say...but I can cope, it's okay)...my skin is greasy (less okay) and due to a recent premise relocation  the hummingbird has focussed her OCD tendencies on - Pretty Looking and Pretty Smelling House Things.  I will be attempting a home remedy this week (when my bloody LAVENDER ARRIVES!) for carpet deoderising. Very handy when my daughter prefers to eat on the run....you cannot vacuum ENOUGH for that child!

Sprinkle bicarbonate soda generously on carpet. Pound up a mix of dried rosemary and lavender in a mortar and pestle....or with some rocks or whatever I guess....you aren't EATING it. Put it in a jar with holes punched in the lid (or sprinkle with your hand if you want) over the top of the bicarbonate soda. Leave for a minimum of fifteen minutes but up to an hour if you like and then vacuum off.

Sounds good huh? I won't will tell you about the night this week when everytime the toddler stirred and woke me (yes, she's in our bed...roll your eyes if you like, I do) my first thoughts each time were what other possible scent combinations would work for this method.  I came up with dried lime rind and crushed eucalyptus leaves so far. I'll give that a try next time round and get back to you.

I have purchased 2 WoodWick diffusers - scents 'Tradewinds' and 'Linen'. SOOOO lovely and smelly. Bathroom and kitchen - the two stinkiest rooms in any house -  received the first intake. There WILL be more. You know how some horribly cruel people used to paint each room of their house a different colour and then make you visit them and view the monstrosity....that is my aim with scents, but in more of a cloying, obsessive kinda assault as opposed to sheer violence inflicted on the eyes. 

This is mine in situ with a cheap but pretty crystal pillar bought at the market......bathroom lovelies.

 These are available online, but I couldn't find anyone from Australia with the full range, and shipping it from the US probably would work out the same cost as buying it retail here, so my suggestion is see your closest chemist, homewares or giftware store. Obviously the biggest advantage here if you haven't got a particular scent in mind, is that you can have a sniff instore before choosing your scent.

(Have decided it's okay to be this way if I am following reasonably harmless tangents)

I have also re-embraced cut flowers (but only if they are reduced price or stolen from my garden or a public place), candles (yes, even with all their wax and mess) and my oil burner (which is sadly lacking in the variety of scents available, but new oils are on my current 'I Want' list - it's an actual component of my constantly updated 'To Do' list).

Did this cool thing with a vase that I was quite proud of for a little while. The picture included is post tiny disaster. Originally I filled it with lovely shells and stones (you can't see how pretty they are in the photo) and water, and floated candles in the top (no flowers obviously). Sooo pretty! Found a candle floating under the top edge of the glass and a small puddle of water at the base that had leaked out of the heat-induced stress fracture! Nevermind, it's a flower vase now...as long as you don't fill it past a certain point!

I put candles behind it and pretend they are floating ; ) it does the job for me close enough I guess.



I have also arranged a couple of Susie Homemaker displays in the kitchen. I found a little glass bottle that looks old (but probably isn't) and put cinnamon scrolls and cloves in that. They don't smell as much as I'd hoped but they look cool. Especially when strategically placed near the mortar and pestle my lovely parents bought for my recent birthday! The fruit and egg bowls are out as always (who knew it was actually quite safe to store your eggs at room temperature?) and as long as they are full they always kinda just look nice on their own.

Yes, yes, small things and small minds...but whatever keeps me happy, right?

I am finally done with this HUMUNGOUS post.....if you've managed to read ALL THE WAY to the end, then you may now give yourself a pat on the back (or some coffee to wake yourself up again). I barely have the patience for my own drivel this time! I promise it will be slightly more interesting next time....provided I am not all self-consumed again as usual! Ta-ta!

                                                                                                Anji



Caffeine v Celaprim and the Wedding Musings (mutterings) of the Inanely Insane

Okay, so I know you've ALL been waiting with bated breath (or a vague memory of my internet blip somewhere back in your cortex...or wherever it would be) for the next installment, but first I have to list my excuses. Yes, you will have to read them all so you know I didn't desert you in favour of a new pastime just yet.

1st -  Just after my last blog regarding Cyclone Anthony I believe, Cyclone Yasi came thundering towards the QLD coast and I did what any other (total sook) would do and headed for the hills (figuratively speaking).

2nd - Came back and had a big meltdown and decided I was not going to participate in anything but the necessities of life for a while

3rd - Got REALLY busy with the necessities, got over my tantrums and thought HOLY CRAP - I'm getting married in less than 8months...and I haven't really done ANY planning at all!!


So then, on with the blog.....today I'll upload what I'm aiming for with our wedding...please feel free to comment and suggest anything you think will be awesome...I will flog your idea off as my own, but you'll have the satisfaction of knowing everyone thinks I'm super-clever because of you ; )

Dress and veil:

oh how I love those shoes also but it's too hot for stockings when I'm marrying...and I am NOT wearing pointy white eighties Billy Idol pumps without the stockings....then it's not cool and different, it just looks like I got my shoes from the op shop (thrift shop if you're not Australian)!! THEREFORE, I will be wearing these lovely things below:



The closest thing I could find to some awesome Manolo Blahnik's that were in like 3 years ago...but outta my price range anyways at $550 or something ; ) Big thanks to  www.fairyshoeprincess.com for finding these babies after I had all but given up hope for yellow shoes!!!

Wouldn't want to be taken tooooo seriously right....hehe

this hair, but less boofy out to the sides though...hanging limply would be a better option ; )

 

 and these eyes with much lighter lips...it is a daytime wedding after all (I don't know if my skintone is even enough to pull off the 'doe' look though!) 



 invitations....they look brighter in real life

RINGS - tralala...they had to match (thanks to yours truly's OCD tendencies) and Shannon wouldn't have white gold...so concave and different colours it is....lovely!!

picture these hanging out of the trees with tealight candles in them for the reception, with the balloons like below hanging like clouds about 4ft above wine glasses, with the yellow lanterns (decorated with black paisley by moi and the fox girl if she pleases!) accenting here and there....I can't WAIT!

 

 Soooooo want a fauxto booth....how bloody fun does that look!!? I'm sure my awwwwesome photographer will be able to help me figure out how to set it up (cough!cough!)





A single layer about this height with a similar paisley pattern piped in black randomly around, topped with awesome yellow coloured pistachio flavoured MACAROONS!!! Oh yeah.....who needs a honeymoon suite?





something along these lines (it's STONE ..not beige...not grey, STONE!)

I wanted something more like this but with proper pants, not JEANS of course....but my lovely fiance clearly doesn't know ANYTHING at all about being cool, so I will have to compromise and allow something more like the first one (he wanted like creamy beige and THONGS can you believe....only leather thongs though...truly upperclass flip flops!!!)

Alright, obviously there will be more (like how my nails will be black, the awesome fringed wedding lingerie I found, the black and white pinwheels lining the aisle and the little daisy bunches hanging off the chairs etc etc etc) but I can't bore you with ALL the details! Even I don't have the mental stamina for it! Sayonara for now...but just so you know....caffeine was the victor (thank GOD!)

Anji