Because I'm SO Much Better at Criticism than Creation......the NOT Wedding

I've always had this great knack for picking other people's ideas to pieces, it's not constructive criticism, it's downright bitchiness and we all know it.  I'm not much on the actual 'having my own ideas' front so I'm currently trying to decide on a career which will cater to my talents....I don't think it will go down well as a hooker - 'Well, I could tell you how to do that better love....' or any kind of designer expected to deal with the public - ' You really want a SEA theme for your bathroom, how fucking o-RIG-inal of you....' so any ideas would be appreciated. In the meantime, I will pick on people's wedding decisions as that's the main item on MY agenda at the moment.

As any classy bride knows, the starting point is always 'the dress'



A little more hair and a little less gut would've been much more digestible...this is an aberration on so many levels, but I'm sure she felt very much the princess

I'll bet Bobby just luuurves this one....and the wedding car was no doubt an old school (I'd say Torana in Australia....) muscle car with at least one panel a fetching shade of primer grey....







I've never felt so justified using the term 'frou frou'

Suit, I'm sorry...but you are NOT Keanu Reeves and can therefore NOT pull off the 'Matrix' suit, it was NEVER cool...when will you people learn? You would've been much better off with a full tuxedo and tails.

 http://www.ruethedayblog.com/2009/06/terribly-trashy-tuxes/  offers up a full selection of horrors in the tux department...this is actually the LEAST of them -

The shoes....I didn't want to bore you with heaps....so I just picked out my personal favourites...behold:

I'm speechless....really

The super smooth updo, I'm almost certain I'm alone in hating this, but way to look like a freaking mannequin.....hours of effort to have Ray Martin lacquer sheen hair.....yuk! (local joke for Aussies there, sorry)    The source of the nastiness

The makeup....you know how difficult it was to pare this one down??

Convenient list with a picture of the crimes against pores

This, again, was the tip of the iceberg...but I know we all have limited patience..so 'The Cowboy Cake'

I'm sure some would disagree, but surely even BARBIE would puke about this much pink and glitter....heave!

Really, LOVE HEART CUT OUTS??

All done with my little rant now. I only feel the need to do this when I've reached a stand still with my own preparations....right now I'm trying to finalise table decorations....god only knows what rubbish we'll end up with, it will probably make someone else's wedding 'don't's' list...hehe. Night...I'm going to moisturise. 

Oh, before I go, little update - lavender, bicarb, rosemary carpet thing was kinda a waste of time...still smelt much the same afterwards...unless you got down at floor level and sniffed it...seems a lot of effort to prove it worked ; )  Bye for now....

                                                          Anji

Kitchen. My least and most favourite room.

So today I will do a little kitcheny kinda blog. I will reveal a couple of cool home remedies for cleaning in the kitchen and also (as usual) tack on a few more 'I wants'. I actually LOVE cooking, but the problem is that I'm not a particularly efficient cook when under pressure or trying a new recipe. Therefore, despite reasonable talent and good ideas....my poor family experience bipolar style swings in their meal quality. For instance, my menu this week (yes, I planned a whole week, I know, right?) includes Moroccan lamb shanks, chicken and prawn rice paper rolls with fantastic herby Asian rice salad etc, BUT for the last two nights (oh yeah, two nights...no wastage at my house!) they have been subjected to the most basic of bolognese dinners. I can't even say spaghetti bolognese, because it happened to be broken up lasagne sheet bolognese, due to a pasta shortage in my pantry. I even sent my long-suffering fiance and my son to school with bolognese SANDWICHES!! HAHAHA. The problem (for them) is that despite loving better food, my palate is actually well used to eating bland and boring and repetitive...so they just have to deal with it....the kids are usually okay, I'm raising them to be like me...hehe, and my lovely boy just has to cope because the alternative is him cooking which is NEVER going to happen on a regular basis! It's a little disturbing how much I enjoy having this wee bit of power to inflict myself on them all...hehe. Okay, home remedies.

1. If your microwave is crusty and feral with baked/dried on food, apparently a large bowl half-filled with water, and the juice from a lemon should soften it all up if microwave on high for a minimum of five minutes. I think vinegar would probably subsitute well enough...it's still an acid...but the lemon probably smells a lot better! You should be able to just wipe the interior afterwards rather than scrubbing for ages and risking the finish being damaged.

2. Calcium-infested kettle element? Boil a mix of vinegar and water with 1 part vinegar to 3 parts water, about half a kettle full. Once boiled, place in an empty sink and add around 1/4 cup of bicarbonate soda. You'll know why it has to be in the sink once you do it...but it does work quite well.

3. Sometimes you walk into the kitchen hours after dinner and you can still smell the food. This annoys the crap out of me, so if you're the same, try this. Place 2-3cups of water in a saucepan. Add any of the following: vanilla essence, cloves, citrus peels (good if you used the juice for something else and have empty skins), cinnamon scrolls (a little expensive, but would probably smell delicious!) or even a teaspoon of eucalyptus oil. Simmer on very low for a while and you'll find your kitchen smelling much better.

4. Particular cupboards that seem to always smell: place a dish or two of bicarbonate soda uncovered in the back of the cupboard, it absorbs most smells.

5. Wipe down anything shiny (such as stainless finished anything, ceramic cooktops, high gloss benchtops, glass or even the plastic doors of microwaves etc) with white vinegar to get a lovely sheen happening. Don't use too much obviously or you'll have to trot out remedy number 3 just to get rid of the smell.


Wow, FIVE in one go! Amazing! I didn't even have to look them up! Woohoo me. Okay, now for a lovely recipe...I will pick another tried and tested favourite for you...hold tight.

Sweet Soy and Ginger Fish

                              served with....                                                                                               

                                                     Sesame Longevity Noodles

All of my family liked this one, me especially (how surprising) and the cool thing is that the noodles have so many potential subsitutions where you may not have one or two ingredients...even the noodles can be substituted with different types of noodles depending what you have on hand. I love flexible recipes!

Okay, just a teeny weeny wish list today (I have to break them down or I'd write a novel about all the shit I want but don't actually need).

totally unnecessary but soooo cool teapot - it's RED!


Depression Era Glass
I don't even know if I CAN buy this jar, but I love it so much I had to put it here even if it's just as part of a vintage wank! Oh dear...I said something rude...oh well.
                                                                                                                                                  


I'm SOOO going to flog this idea....all I need is a massive collections of hexagonal jars, glue,magnets....oh, and a less fidgety daughter......maybe I'll just put them up REALLY HIGH.

 Oh my, these really are just sooooo beautiful. I love teacups (I'll be blaming my dear mother for that) and even though I never actually drink out of them, I think I'd make a point of it if I had these lovelies! I found this picture at http://dartyandpike.blogspot.com but I think you can buy them from Shopadilly UK. This is a site similar to ebay I think, so I'm assuming they aren't in production anymore. Reasonably affordable though, yay! Anyone needing ideas for wedding gifts?? Anyone?

This will be for when I'm 'ye olde Anji' with time to kill.....i.e. not going to be forgetting about the cute copper kettle boiling itself dry while I'm hanging out clothes or something else equally as mundane....

Alrighty then, that will do for now...I do have to make lunches after all....boo. Besides, I could go on all night (already have in fact!) Right-o then. Done.

Anji

PrettySmellyThings

So, Easter is over....I've gained 2.5kg ("Oh no", I hear you say...but I can cope, it's okay)...my skin is greasy (less okay) and due to a recent premise relocation  the hummingbird has focussed her OCD tendencies on - Pretty Looking and Pretty Smelling House Things.  I will be attempting a home remedy this week (when my bloody LAVENDER ARRIVES!) for carpet deoderising. Very handy when my daughter prefers to eat on the run....you cannot vacuum ENOUGH for that child!

Sprinkle bicarbonate soda generously on carpet. Pound up a mix of dried rosemary and lavender in a mortar and pestle....or with some rocks or whatever I guess....you aren't EATING it. Put it in a jar with holes punched in the lid (or sprinkle with your hand if you want) over the top of the bicarbonate soda. Leave for a minimum of fifteen minutes but up to an hour if you like and then vacuum off.

Sounds good huh? I won't will tell you about the night this week when everytime the toddler stirred and woke me (yes, she's in our bed...roll your eyes if you like, I do) my first thoughts each time were what other possible scent combinations would work for this method.  I came up with dried lime rind and crushed eucalyptus leaves so far. I'll give that a try next time round and get back to you.

I have purchased 2 WoodWick diffusers - scents 'Tradewinds' and 'Linen'. SOOOO lovely and smelly. Bathroom and kitchen - the two stinkiest rooms in any house -  received the first intake. There WILL be more. You know how some horribly cruel people used to paint each room of their house a different colour and then make you visit them and view the monstrosity....that is my aim with scents, but in more of a cloying, obsessive kinda assault as opposed to sheer violence inflicted on the eyes. 

This is mine in situ with a cheap but pretty crystal pillar bought at the market......bathroom lovelies.

 These are available online, but I couldn't find anyone from Australia with the full range, and shipping it from the US probably would work out the same cost as buying it retail here, so my suggestion is see your closest chemist, homewares or giftware store. Obviously the biggest advantage here if you haven't got a particular scent in mind, is that you can have a sniff instore before choosing your scent.

(Have decided it's okay to be this way if I am following reasonably harmless tangents)

I have also re-embraced cut flowers (but only if they are reduced price or stolen from my garden or a public place), candles (yes, even with all their wax and mess) and my oil burner (which is sadly lacking in the variety of scents available, but new oils are on my current 'I Want' list - it's an actual component of my constantly updated 'To Do' list).

Did this cool thing with a vase that I was quite proud of for a little while. The picture included is post tiny disaster. Originally I filled it with lovely shells and stones (you can't see how pretty they are in the photo) and water, and floated candles in the top (no flowers obviously). Sooo pretty! Found a candle floating under the top edge of the glass and a small puddle of water at the base that had leaked out of the heat-induced stress fracture! Nevermind, it's a flower vase now...as long as you don't fill it past a certain point!

I put candles behind it and pretend they are floating ; ) it does the job for me close enough I guess.



I have also arranged a couple of Susie Homemaker displays in the kitchen. I found a little glass bottle that looks old (but probably isn't) and put cinnamon scrolls and cloves in that. They don't smell as much as I'd hoped but they look cool. Especially when strategically placed near the mortar and pestle my lovely parents bought for my recent birthday! The fruit and egg bowls are out as always (who knew it was actually quite safe to store your eggs at room temperature?) and as long as they are full they always kinda just look nice on their own.

Yes, yes, small things and small minds...but whatever keeps me happy, right?

I am finally done with this HUMUNGOUS post.....if you've managed to read ALL THE WAY to the end, then you may now give yourself a pat on the back (or some coffee to wake yourself up again). I barely have the patience for my own drivel this time! I promise it will be slightly more interesting next time....provided I am not all self-consumed again as usual! Ta-ta!

                                                                                                Anji